"It takes (at least) two people to think one's most disturbing thoughts." - Thomas Ogden
You're a smart, creative person who has often felt like an outsider, like you didn't fit in with the world around you. You have always been resilient and able to find your crew, but much of your life has felt like a fight. A fight against your inner critic, against injustice, or against a culture that wanted you to be someone you were not. You've had to grow up too fast in a world (or a family) that doesn't seem to make room for you.
Feeing like an outsider can take its toll on self-confidence, energy levels, and relationships. You can experience stress and pressure from family and work and other people you love or want to impress. Your inner critic can judge your every move. Your confidence can feel low sometimes and you can feel unsure about making decisions. You can have difficulty getting in touch with your emotional life, and may try to bury your grief and pain because it seems too overwhelming. Maybe you have eating problems, drinking problems, you over-exercise, take yourself to the limit, or totally numb out and try to forget your pain. You feel like you need someone to help you understand what's going on and how to live a more connected life.
Folks who often come to see me for therapy are:
Adults who never really got a childhood and have had to grow up too fast. Children of narcissistic parents. People grieving the death of someone they love. Folks struggling with alcohol abuse, over-exercising, eating disorders, or a mean internal critic. Men who have had to build toughness around their sensitivity and can't find a blueprint for how to live their lives. Women who want to help and be loved so much and yet end up draining all their resources. People who straddle class, race and gender, who have a unique perspective of living in between. Creative people whose self-criticism gets in the way of completing projects. Athletes or weekend warriors struggling with body image, performance anxiety, overtraining, and self-doubt. White people waking up to their compliance in a racist system. Therapists and healers who are struggling to navigate their own personal history and internal terrain with that of their clients. Folks who are entering a new stage of life (divorce, pregnancy, marriage, death, graduation, job loss, empty nest) and need some help finding and reorienting themselves.
If you realize you can't do it all by yourself,
If you want to feel more connected to others,
If you're feeling stuck in unsatisfying relationships and work,
If you feel beaten up by perfectionism and self-criticism,
If you feel like you've had to grow up too fast,
Call me to find out how I can help.
A key to unlocking your truth is to face the parts of yourself and your history that you have bottled up for so long. I can help you on this journey – you don't have to do it alone.
Though the work will look different with each person, here's my approach to therapy:
I am a direct and thoughtful therapist, and I use imagery and metaphor to help us understand what is alive inside of you. While I may not say much some of the time, it's because I'm listening deeply to you on many levels and thinking about what you are expressing to me. So, even though you will be doing most of the talking, my style is collaborative and exploratory. I believe that by developing our own, singular therapeutic relationship we will be able to uncover old patterns you have of relating that become present in the here-and-now of our therapy work. Every person who comes through my door is different, and what you and I create together will never be the same with anyone else. This is how therapy works: What emerges in our relationship is what needs to be heard inside of you, and I will be there to listen, witness, and share my mind with you.
Through talk therapy, we can go beyond "behavior change" and into what's alive underneath your surface. As we work together, you may discover there are some things in your life you thought you would want to change, but actually you don't. As we both listen in our different ways to your unconscious through dreams, narratives, images, and fantasies, we will work toward uncovering and understanding your internal and external blocks so that you have greater access to yourself. We'll work together to unpack and address who you are in the context of your life, and help you get in touch with your sadness, pain, fears, hope, agency, self-awareness, and resilience.
I support the deep and challenging work of helping you face your fears, get in touch with your emotional life, and help you discover what's going on that made your critical inner voice so powerful. Therapy takes courage. By moving closer to the things you have pushed away, you may feel all those feelings you've tried not to feel. And, you may also uncover a renewed energy and space for creativity, fulfilling relationships, and a balance between play and work.
It's time to stop hiding from the life you really want to live.
Call me or email me for a free phone consultation today.
510-594-4035 or email@example.com
"And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers.... And new ones will find you and cherish you. ... And at last you'll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.” - Audre Lorde