Becoming an anti-racist psychoanalytic community

I’ve been writing and speaking about anti-racism and whiteness for some time now, and it seems like more folks are listening and fired up about doing the work. I’m grateful for that.

I have been asked to write something for my Institute’s newsletter, and this is my first draft. I am placing it here because writing in public helps me think. I may have to remove it if it is published by my Institute, but for now, here is my first draft. It is essentially a statement and a call to action to psychoanalytic practitioners and communities to invest in anti-racist work, particularly non-BIPOC members of these communities.

(this is an updated version, edited on 6/8/2020, with footnotes added)

Any invitation to think about our work as therapists must begin with a reminder of the land we are on, and the deep history of how the United States was created as a nation. The framework of this country, built on a foundation of unceded lands and the unpaid work of enslaved and kidnapped people for the benefit of the wealthy, property-owning, “founding” few. Slavery, and thus whiteness, became codified in the United States in the 17th century, separating poor white European descendants from African diasporic and enslaved peoples. This encoded Black people into generationally-enslaved positions (becoming human “property”) and channeling white people into indentured servitude. Whites therefore could, in their lifetimes, work their way out of servitude and become property-owning individuals with civil and human rights (see John Casor, 1655) (1), whereas Black people legally remained property for another two hundred years. Whiteness as a “status” was thus created in order to delineate the haves from the have-nots. In the case of the United States, it set the stage for future delineation between those who are, and are not, included in “all men are created equal,” an historic reverberation of the false claim that “all lives matter” in a system entrenched in anti-black racism and oppression.

Our psychoanalytic institutes, theory, praxis, and practitioners are not immune to these racist foundations. Psychoanalysis is not absolved of the after-effects of European imperialism and settler-colonial history within which our theories have been developed. We know our field is elitist, and in many cases racist; anyone following the hashtag #BlackintheIvory will hear personal stories about racism towards Black folks in the ivory towers of institutions. Psychoanalysis is not an exception. Guilaine Kinouani (2017) states, “Our capacity to have a ‘home’ is dependent on our capacity to know… our capacity to know is dependent on our capacity to have a home.” (2) For those of us who consider psychoanalysis our home, who is represented in these spaces? Can we really propose to know much about the complexity human experience if our psychoanalytic home is not truly welcoming to everyone, or set up for everyone? Taking a deep inventory of our psychoanalytic spaces, we may encounter what Catrice Jackson (2018) calls “missing faces.” (3) Our institutes and field are overwhelmingly white spaces, reflecting back a homogeneity that limits what we can profess to “know” about ourselves, our work, and our theories.

But, “who is deemed to be the knower in [any given] situation?” Kinouani (2017) asks. In other words, who, and what, is easily considered “in” and “out” of this boundary of the analytic frame, of home, and of belonging? Who is allowed a home in the first place, and who is evicted or prohibited access? When we consider the Homesteading Act (4), segregation and Jim Crow laws, land occupations and settler-states, and redlining (5), this adds another distinctive edge our consideration of boundaries, frames, and borders.

Roxane Gay (2020) writes, “We live with the knowledge that, still, no one is coming to save us. The rest of the world yearns to get back to normal. For black people, normal is the very thing from which we yearn to be free.” (6) Racism and whiteness have played a part in my upbringing, and while racism has been a topic of conversation in my lifetime, whiteness —though centered in my life and in this country’s social hierarchies— has not been collectively recognized as something to interrogate. This paradox unconsciously compels me, and my white communities, to continue to disavow, repress, and therefore repeat racist hierarchies and traumas.

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Resources for dismantling white supremacy

Here is a quick note to share a resource list I am compiling that has action items and resources in support of the Movement for Black Lives, defunding the police, dismantling white supremacy, and general education.

This is a long haul and many are tired, exhausted, and depleted from working for centuries for justice. Many are just starting to become aware of injustice and how deep that river flows. And many are somewhere in between.

Start where you are.

Folks: take care of yourselves. Learn how to receive care. Learn how to offer it. Find replenishment where and with whom you can. If you wish to act, do deep work alongside action. It’s never too late to start.

https://linktr.ee/interrogatingwhiteness

Whiteness and the problem of Mutual Recognition

This is an excerpt from a paper I am working on. I am interested in sharing some views regarding mutual recognition and the constraints of using this framework when challenging or repairing systemic injustice. For more information about mutual recognition, read Jessica Benjamin’s 2004 paper, “Beyond Doer and Done To: An Intersubjective View of Thirdness”. You can also read a talk of hers here.

I am interested in sharing some views regarding mutual recognition and the constraints of using this framework when confronting or repairing systemic injustice. Mutual recognition, conceptualized by Jessica Benjamin (2004), is “a relation in which each person experiences the other as a “like subject,” another mind who can be “felt with,” yet has a distinct, separate center of feeling and perception.” When the asymmetry is mutual or relatively equivalent, as it is in an at-will therapy session (the patient pays me and is thus my employer; I have some psychic ad emotional influence on the patient; the patient has legal recourse on my behaviors; the patient may feel overly dependent on me; etc), mutual recognition may function as a powerful reparative process. In a setting in which both analyst and analysand can be understood to have agreed on and mutually buy-into a process and a machination or setting for that process, a playfulness in co-creating a “third” (Ogden, 1994a) emerges and offers a field in which to support an ongoing narrative that benefits the patient.

However, in an entrenched systemic asymmetry, where people have been relegated to their position in an ever-moving hierarchy, all our efforts of mutuality become subsumed by the power structure. Those disenfranchised individuals and communities end up trying to navigate forces of power which refuse to relinquish their stronghold. In addition, those wielding power may at times not even recognize the deadliness of the asymmetry, or may justify it because it is “legal” (slavery, “stand your ground” laws) or “moral” (family values).

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Staying Well While Sheltering in Place for COVID-19

Staying Well While Sheltering in Place for COVID-19

We’ve been under “Shelter in Place” orders in the Bay Area for three weeks now. Time has felt alternatively condensed, expansive, and difficult to track for many of us who have had to change up our reliable, structured day-to-day habits that keep us well, healthy, and in contact with ourselves.

Right now, we are facing a “bizarre object,” a new virus that can be deadly for some, and painful and arduous for others. We are responding in the best way we can, by physically distancing ourselves from each other to prevent the transmission of the virus. What I’m finding is that when it comes to our mental health and how we’re coping with this, there is nothing new under the sun. The way each of us are facing this virus is a lot like how each of us face other disruptions, fears, chaos, and bizarreness in our lives. For folks who prefer to stay at home, it can feel good that everyone else is on board with this way of life, though it may also feel stifling and overwhelming to consider the reasons for this social change. For some folks, it can feel a lot like we’re avoiding each other for reasons other than public health, especially for folks who have a history of being fearful of others in general, or are used to feeling anxious about people rejecting or dismissing us. It can really mix people up to be forced to limit our social contact and ease of moving about in the world; with gyms, pools, and trails being closed, lots of outlets for stress and aggression are off-limits. And, for folks who need companionship, this kind of social limitation can sting. It may feel pretty easy to take it personally. (Please don’t.)

It is essential to not neglect your mental health. We need each other right now in so many ways: We need each other to do the right thing and stay home; we need to help each other out but maintain our boundaries; and above all, we need to stay well.

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Resources for adjusting to life in a time of COVID-19

For many of us, all the rapidly changing information related to this novel coronavirus is testing our flexibility. Many of us are feeling tossed about, and having to change our plans and adjust to different closures, financial situations, and other changes. We are coming to terms with all of this in our own ways, and I suspect each of us could use some help right now. 

Though we are being asked to “socially distance” ourselves, I think now is the time to get more connected emotionally even if we’re having to be apart physically. If you’ve been putting off that phone call, text, or email, now might be a good time to reach out and catch up with people you love.

Though what I’m writing today may be woefully outdated by tomorrow, here are some resources for mutual aid, activity, mental wellness, education, and support. I will try to keep updating this list when possible. My hope is that this support list extends well beyond the crisis of this virus and, in addition to helping us survive, becomes a way to enrich our lives going forward. 

My colleague Phoenix Song has created a beautiful list of resources, much more in-depth than what I offer here, which I hope you will find helpful: https://phoenixsongtherapy.com/2020/03/14/we-heal-together-covid-19-resources-for-wellness/. I love her list and am adding some more resources below.

Remember: We need each other, especially now.

MUTUAL AID:
It’s Going Down
has a list of resources: https://itsgoingdown.org/autonomous-groups-are-mobilizing-mutual-aid-initiatives-to-combat-the-coronavirus/

Berkeley Mutual Aid: BIT.LY/BERKELEYMUTUALAID

SF Bay Mutual Aid Response form (folks who need help) https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1SSS3NDHzAjX9TnCEj32LKS-alJ0uZs-HvUarLe9Rzx8/edit#gid=890907626

ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS:
Cal Academy of Sciences hosts online classes
: https://www.calacademy.org/a-message-to-our-academy-community-on-covid-19

Storyline: https://www.storylineonline.net/

RELAX:

Headspace App: https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app

GETTING BORED?
MasterClass
https://www.masterclass.com/

Writing the Other https://writingtheother.com/

Facing Insecurity, Embracing Empathy

Facing Insecurity, Embracing Empathy

I believe one of the most helpful things we can do for ourselves and each other is get to know ourselves on a deep level, with compassion and curiosity. It’s not always easy, and often a messy and painful experience to face the parts of ourselves that we have hidden- and hidden from- out of a feeling of necessity and fear. Often, this process requires another mind- or community of minds- to help us.

I’m struck by the words of a former Marine (on Veteran’s Day, no less) named Janae Marie Kroc. She is a white transgender woman, former Marine, and powerlifting world champion who has been public with her transition process, via Instagram and the documentary film Transformer. I was first introduced to her via the strengthlifting community while doing the Kroc row, a lift named after her, and have since followed her on Instagram and listened to her on many different podcast interviews. Currently, she is an advocate for genderfluid, nonbinary, and transgender folks, and still competing in strength sports. Today, she shared some thoughts via Instagram which got me thinking about identity, self, and how we hide from who we are out of fear, oppression, shame, and insecurity.

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Complaining Might Help You Take Yourself Seriously

Complaining Might Help You Take Yourself Seriously

Most of us imbued in American capitalism live in a culture where action is prioritized over thought, and where rumination is often confused for thinking something through. The belief that thought in itself is not a type of action and engagement is an unfortunate split in our culture, which can take its toll on our creative processes.

Complaint in itself can be a radical act. Complaining can call attention to something that is being ignored or overlooked and therefore not being thought about. I consider complaining a kind of pre-thought: Something that happens when a person is no longer in the complete symbiosis state (symbiosis would be like the partner who finishes your sentences), or when symbiosis is interrupted but can’t be thought about or understood yet (like when that same partner disagrees with you and interrupts that sameness-flow with a difference of opinion). Complaining serves as a way to express a problem and request help thinking about this problem with another mind.

Complaining is not necessarily about solutions; it’s often about taking yourself seriously and learning how to listen to yourself. It’s also a process of requesting others listen to, and oftentimes validate, you.

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Our Wild Storm: Seeking Balance is an Ongoing Project

Our Wild Storm: Seeking Balance is an Ongoing Project

I’m currently watching the docuseries “One Strange Rock,” narrated by Will Smith, on Netflix. Since I was young, I’ve been fascinated with the human project of space exploration. I even have memorabilia from several shuttle launches, which I was fortunate enough to watch in person. I was interested in both the science of space exploration as I was fascinated by the unknown and uncharted, and the kinds of hypotheses that could emerge from confronting the unknown. My creative spark often gets ignited when I’m faced with endless possibilities, like the expanse of space, the depths of the ocean, or the ever-shifting processes of the human psyche.

After all, as Carl Sagan has said, “We are a way for the universe to know itself.”

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Made by Concrete: How Atlas Stones and Psychoanalysis Shape the Strength Athlete

Made by Concrete: How Atlas Stones and Psychoanalysis Shape the Strength Athlete

In my recent blog post, I wrote about the Olympic lift called the snatch as a metaphor for psychoanalysis; psychoanalysis itself being just one of myriad avenues for developing a sense of self and identity. Today, I'm thinking a lot about how the entire process of strength training and competing, specifically in Strongman sport, and the ways we interact with the implements themselves, help shape our identities.

In case you aren't familiar with Strongman events, there are several, some of which have literally Titanic names. These include:
Atlas stone
Hercules hold
Deadlift
Frame carry
Keg toss

These lifts require aggression and direct access to some brute force that women tend to be socialized away from. Strongman events bring out power in people and this can be liberating for people socialized as women.

Though there are so many things I could talk about regarding these different implements and events, there are several things on my mind about the Atlas stone and how it shapes us as we lift it.

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Snatches and Psychoanalysis: The Mental Life of Weightlifting

Snatches and Psychoanalysis: The Mental Life of Weightlifting

My favorite description of the Olympic lift called the "Snatch" is actually a doodle I saw floating around the realms of athletic social media. It looks like the image to the left <—-

What is this miracle, I have always wondered? I can get the set up, and I can get the completed lift, but what happens in between has always been a mystery to me. Suddenly I am flying and the bar magically lands, in position, overhead. 

Or, it doesn't, and I fall forward/backwards or otherwise miss the lift.

This feels so similar to the way I try to describe my work as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist. There is no clear way to describe what happens in session. We might be talking about heavy traffic on 80 and then suddenly the patient associates to feeling stuck in their office without being able to go on a bathroom break, which reminds them of the way their sister would stay in the bathroom for too long as a kid. The patient would have feelings of envy, shame, anger, and the physical sensation of holding something back- which would all connect with a feeling of limitation, stuckness, and having to conform to other people's needs and expectations.

It's like, I know where we started, and where we ended up, but I really can’t explain how we got there. Such is the magic of the snatch, and of psychoanalysis.

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