I created this video one afternoon to get down some of my thoughts about a group I've been considering forming for therapists to address racism (our own, and structurally) and whiteness (our own, and structurally).  I think it is necessary that therapists explore what it really means to be practicing a craft that is a historically white/European modality - specifically, psychodynamic and psychoanalytic psychotherapy. We studied in white space, we trained in white space, our exams were epitomes of white spaces- and now, as licensed therapists, there are subtle and obvious ways we practice our indoctrination, within a greater system of whiteness. Now, after having the chance to watch this video, I have become aware of the racism inherent in being white and speaking about racism, and the several "slips" I have made in this video that ultimately do the opposite of what I was attempting. This brings several questions and paradoxes to mind.

Last week, I wrote an article for Medium called "How to be a therapist when the world is on fire." It is a small window into the way I work as a therapist, and the urgency of connectedness and redefining the "container" when the world is on fire. I mean this both as a metaphor and, particularly in the current state of our country and planet, quite literally. 

We are all impacted, albeit in different ways, by what is happening in our communities. While therapists by necessity and design are often one layer removed from our patients' pain and experience, when we are both impacted by environmental tragedies that layer can become thin and transparent. There is important work to be done in this realm, if we can manage to continue to think clinically.

The world is on fire around us. None of us are spared completely, but some of us are in more pain and devastation than others. In some cases we just can’t do therapy right now because the immediate need to save your physical body is too great. In some cases, we can. When the walls are burning, this is when we are forced to redefine the container. - Molly Merson, MFT How to be a therapist when the world is on fire

I am STOKED at how many people are writing books right now. There was a time in recent history when popular culture suggested that books were a thing of the past- but I am happy to notice that those predictions were incorrect, and that most of us will never stop reading. Instead of video and internet turning books obsolete, we actually are in an abundance of information with a variety of ways to participate with it. Again: STOKED!

Several folks have asked me what I’m reading these days, so I’m offering this “monthly” (that’s the goal, not necessarily the realistic outcome) reading recap with some reading and listening suggestions, including books, articles, videos, music, podcasts, and anything else. I will share things I've read, watched or listened to, whether I like them or not. I hope you discover some cool new stuff this way!

Read on for this month's recap!

In case you haven't seen it, Tina Fey returned to Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update last weekend with a sketch about how (white) women have spent the last several months since November 9 stuffing their faces with sheetcake in an "I told you so and now I am stuffing my feelings" kind of way. Though there is certainly room to interpret a poignant satire about the actual uselessness of "sheetcaking" in this sketch, it has been called out as perpetuating the privilege that many white women have to bury their heads and avoid discomfort rather than disrupt and dismantle the systems that keep their privilege intact and keep marginalized people oppressed (highlighted by the racist quip about black drag queens).

Whatever your take on the Fey sketch, it's an excellent metaphor for what so many of us do in the face of frustration and feeling helpless. It's a gendered stereotype that women will turn to food to stuff their feelings, but perhaps we can think a bit about the metaphor.  Shoving cake in one's mouth when one's voice is not being heard is a way of silencing oneself. When one's work is not being recognized, and when one can work hard (campaigning for another political candidate, say) but still get steamrolled by someone who has more power to silence you– all of this re-enacts the violence of being silenced. Sometimes, people who feel powerless will do something punishing to themselves in order to feel like they have some control to take back their power. Unfortunately, it still leaves them punished, hurt, and sick.

I don't know about you, but I am so tired of reading articles telling us that exercising, eating right, and sleeping enough is “as good as therapy.” As a therapist and an athlete, I think it's important, and potentially life-saving, to point out the fallacy of this broad statement.

Exercise is not therapy, but it can save your life.

Yes, what you do with your body matters. What you put into it matters. How much you sleep matters. These things are all important, and your needs around all of them are as individual as your fingerprints and will change depending on your life circumstance. But if you are disabled, neurodivergent, injured, grieving, or otherwise in emotional, physical, or psychic pain, it may be much more complicated than this. Advice like “eat right and exercise!” can actually amplify the problem if you’re beating yourself up for not being able to do something that everyone is telling you you should.