Facing Insecurity, Embracing Empathy

Facing Insecurity, Embracing Empathy

I believe one of the most helpful things we can do for ourselves and each other is get to know ourselves on a deep level, with compassion and curiosity. It’s not always easy, and often a messy and painful experience to face the parts of ourselves that we have hidden- and hidden from- out of a feeling of necessity and fear. Often, this process requires another mind- or community of minds- to help us.

I’m struck by the words of a former Marine (on Veteran’s Day, no less) named Janae Marie Kroc. She is a white transgender woman, former Marine, and powerlifting world champion who has been public with her transition process, via Instagram and the documentary film Transformer. I was first introduced to her via the strengthlifting community while doing the Kroc row, a lift named after her, and have since followed her on Instagram and listened to her on many different podcast interviews. Currently, she is an advocate for genderfluid, nonbinary, and transgender folks, and still competing in strength sports. Today, she shared some thoughts via Instagram which got me thinking about identity, self, and how we hide from who we are out of fear, oppression, shame, and insecurity.

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Growing Stones and Becoming Courageous Like Georgia O'Keeffe

Growing Stones and Becoming Courageous Like Georgia O'Keeffe

Courage and fear are awkward teenagers at a school dance. When fear steps on courage's toes, courage tends to banish fear to the sidelines with the wallflower, declaring that just messes everything up and should just be ignored and pushed aside.

That might work for a while, until fear takes on a Carrie-type rage, setting fire to prom night.

Fear is a powerful emotion, sometimes more powerful than courage. Embracing your fears can help you step into the most frightening aspects of your life, especially as you get to know yourself on a deeper level. Here's a piece I wrote recently for Psyched in San Francisco, riffing off the Georgia O'Keeffe quotation: “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.”

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Boundaries: Saying No in order to say Yes... to yourself!

Boundaries: Saying No in order to say Yes... to yourself!

You're exhausted and drained, trying to keep up with the demands (real or perceived) of friends, family, work, and your inner drive. You long for more freedom, more space to think and relax, but it feels like the world is an unrelenting cascade of needs from other people.

You need help in saying "No".

Seriously. You really don't have to say Yes to everything!

But maybe it feels that way. Maybe it really feels like if you say no to something, you'll be cutting off a relationship, or disappointing someone, or enacting an aggressive and resentful part of yourself that really... doesn't want to have to perform.

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