Facing Insecurity, Embracing Empathy

Facing Insecurity, Embracing Empathy

I believe one of the most helpful things we can do for ourselves and each other is get to know ourselves on a deep level, with compassion and curiosity. It’s not always easy, and often a messy and painful experience to face the parts of ourselves that we have hidden- and hidden from- out of a feeling of necessity and fear. Often, this process requires another mind- or community of minds- to help us.

I’m struck by the words of a former Marine (on Veteran’s Day, no less) named Janae Marie Kroc. She is a white transgender woman, former Marine, and powerlifting world champion who has been public with her transition process, via Instagram and the documentary film Transformer. I was first introduced to her via the strengthlifting community while doing the Kroc row, a lift named after her, and have since followed her on Instagram and listened to her on many different podcast interviews. Currently, she is an advocate for genderfluid, nonbinary, and transgender folks, and still competing in strength sports. Today, she shared some thoughts via Instagram which got me thinking about identity, self, and how we hide from who we are out of fear, oppression, shame, and insecurity.

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Power, Contact, and Transformation Through Radical Psychotherapy

Power, Contact, and Transformation Through Radical Psychotherapy

One of the most important and meaningful things in my work is making contact with each of my clients. Without relational contact, whatever work my clients and I do together becomes irrelevant, indigestible, insoluble, and fragmented, which can be traumatizing, re-activating, and particularly harmful on micro and macro levels. That’s not to say rifts and miscommunications don’t happen, even when we are aiming for contact. In fact, that’s often the life blood of our work together, as these inevitable rifts let us know that something is feeling missed inside of you, and therefore there is something that needs to be found and contacted.

So how can you and I make contact, even when you may be feeling an intuitive skepticism and mistrust of what I represent, or even what the vulnerability of emotional contact represents?

I think it has a lot to do with how both of us understand, and can speak to, power, privilege, and hegemony. If I don’t recognize and own my power in the therapeutic dyad, then it is more likely to be misused or enacted without resolution.

In service of a truly transformative experience for my clients and society at large, I aim to stay alive and awake in my radicalism even while maintaining a kind of therapeutic neutrality that is important to my work.

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