Work-Life Balance: What It Is (And How To Do It)

/ Molly Merson, MFT Psychotherapy/
Work-Life Balance: What It Is (And How To Do It)

Do you believe your work takes priority over your self-care? Are you an activist bringing work home with you because of the imperative that "racism never sleeps" and "the system keeps working and so do you"? (Both true, except for that assumption at the end there.) Are you a tech professional who prefers to do the spreadsheets at home because you can concentrate better on the couch than you can at the office?

It makes me wonder if you might have been taught to value productivity over emotions. I also wonder, did you get the message that if you put your needs and your health first, you're selfish and weak? Were you told that the end result is more important than the path you take to get there? Complying with these messages might have served you in surviving your childhood, but they're probably also taking away from your enjoyment of adult life. If you're fixated and focused only on the deliverables, you will have a hard time letting play and relaxation into your life.

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Growing Stones and Becoming Courageous Like Georgia O'Keeffe

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Growing Stones and Becoming Courageous Like Georgia O'Keeffe

Courage and fear are awkward teenagers at a school dance. When fear steps on courage's toes, courage tends to banish fear to the sidelines with the wallflower, declaring that just messes everything up and should just be ignored and pushed aside.

That might work for a while, until fear takes on a Carrie-type rage, setting fire to prom night.

Fear is a powerful emotion, sometimes more powerful than courage. Embracing your fears can help you step into the most frightening aspects of your life, especially as you get to know yourself on a deeper level. Here's a piece I wrote recently for Psyched in San Francisco, riffing off the Georgia O'Keeffe quotation: “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.”

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Teachers need self-care, too!

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Teachers need self-care, too!

Teachers are remarkable people. Having worked with teachers in my practice for the past decade, I have had the pleasure of meeting some of the most passionate, smart, creative, and ... stressed out people ever. Having been a teacher and a lecturer myself, I understand the excitement, creativity, and energy that goes in to helping people of all ages expand their minds and develop their skills so they have the best possible opportunities in the world. I also understand the pressure, overloaded schedule, emotional overwhelm, and burnout.

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Self-Care and... Social Media Boundaries

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Self-Care and... Social Media Boundaries

Social media can be pretty overwhelming. You want to stay in touch with your friends and family (and super cute fuzzy creatures and squishy baby faces), but the incessant memes, the violent articles and videos, and the stunted conversations can feel triggering, impersonal, and traumatizing. In my latest article for Psyched in San Francisco, I share my perspective on how to cultivate your social media in a way that offers a replenishing space for self-care, rather than increasing burnout.

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Self-Harm and... Tattoos?

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Self-Harm and... Tattoos?

Tattoos can be a way of reclaiming one’s agency and body, for those who have felt helpless or powerless. They can also be a way of allowing unconscious images to be seen, memorializing a person or event that’s important to you, or representing something symbolically that may not be easy to put directly into words. The skin is the largest organ in our body, and is the first point of contact with the outside world. To mark it with something that is meaningful is a powerful way of taking up space and being recognized in a world that often seeks to devalue difference.

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Building Resilience Through Our Grief

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Building Resilience Through Our Grief

Grief is everywhere right now. Mass attacks across the globe. Black men being shot for complying with police, Black men being shot for not complying. White people waking up to unjust systems, having been asleep at the wheel for generations.

A lot of us don't make room for processing our grief. We want to - or are taught to - keep it away, sweep it under the rug, or stuff it down. We're taught, and believe, that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness, and weakness will make us susceptible to more pain and sorrow.

But putting our grief front-and-center, we can learn to heal, grow, and build resilience through our pain, collectively and individually.

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Love Through This: Love, Anger, Grief, and Heartbreak for Queer Lives of Color

/ Molly Merson, MFT/
Love Through This: Love, Anger, Grief, and Heartbreak for Queer Lives of Color

If you are in mourning, if your heart is broken, if you are sad and terrified and furious and wounded by the mass shooting of black and brown LGBQ and trans people at Pulse Nightclub in Florida this past weekend, this is for you.

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Dead Mothers Club: A Series

/ Molly Merson, MFT- Psychotherapist/
Dead Mothers Club: A Series

We keep our mothers alive inside us, even when they have died.

My first installment in the series, and an introduction to my theory of grief: The Mourning After: Grief After Mother's Day, in Psyched in San Francisco online magazine

The second installment, with interviews from a number of people whose mothers have died: Resurrecting Our Dead Mothers in the Huffington Post

Your mother's death - either by neglect, abandonment, or physical death - may be a contributor to your current distress. I have years of experience working with people whose mothers have died, and not all of these relationships were positive. If you are interested in exploring your relationship with your mother and how her death has shaped your life, I am uniquely qualified to help you name and explore your relationship to your mother, and to assist your mourning process.

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All lives can matter when Black lives matter.

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All lives can matter when Black lives matter.

Community building is a way of imagining life as something different than the injustice we see, beyond what we take for granted in front of us, and to enhance a vision for a more interconnected world. Psychotherapy is about growing the capacity to imagine your life as something different, undo trauma that keeps us afraid, and grow the way we participate in and connect with community. Psychotherapy can help you unpack your terror and anxiety about racism, privilege, trauma, injustice, and the unconscious perpetuation of a system that values some lives above others.

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